Empathy

Suffered from diarrhoea since 2.00am yesterday. I was weak and had abdominal pain. Needed to see a doctor, but it was 2.30am. Went back to bed hoping that it'll go away. 5 minutes later, went into the loo again. Getting worse, so no choice, HAD to go to a clinic. Dragged myself out of the bed, changed, took my car keys, and off I went. Was feeling a little cold. First clinic, damn, not 24-hours. I've seen so many clinics around my area before but just when I needed one, just one, it was so difficult. Finally I got to one, and thank goodness I was the only patient. Registered myself, and waited. The weird thing about clinics is the air-condition at the waiting area is normally at full-blast. Is it to make patients' condition worse so the doctor can prescribe more medicine? I started to shiver.

Went into the doctor's room. Told the good doctor I'm having diarrhoea. He took my temperature, measured my blood pressure, asked what I've eaten, and if I've got gastric. After my response, he said "You don't have fever, blood pressure normal, and eat something before you take medicine". Consultation over. I shivered for 10 minutes outside and the consultation was over in less than 5 minutes. And guess what, I had to endure the cold again outside while waiting for my medication. Damn .... I was really cold. I walked out of the clinic after collecting my medication, but turned back immediately. Told the nurse I need to borrow the washroom .... EMERGENCY! Did my 'watery' big business, but could not get up as I was feeling dizzy. Told myself I'm not gonna black-out on the toilet bowl, took a few deep breaths (imagine my posture on the toliet bowl, and the very aromatic atmosphere), composed myself, got up and flushed (yes, I'm still civic-minded even when sufferring).

Now the challenge ... driving home. A bit dizzy and my body was shivering. Anyway, thank goodness, I made it back safe and sound. 3.45am, took the pills, put on a sweater, track bottom, and went to bed. Woke up at 6.00am, still feeling horrible. Sent a few SMSs to postpone appointments, went to the toilet to do my 'watery' business, again. Went back to bed after that. My eyes opened. 10.30am. I thought it's all over. But wait .... why do I feel so heaty? Damn .... am I down with fever? But the doctor said no fever. Never mind, I'll take another round of medicine and sleep more. But before I slept, the toilet called again, same old shit (literally). The next time I woke up .... 5.00pm. I got worse, and I was pretty sure I caught fever. Decided to consult another doctor. I haven't had any food the whole day apart from slices of bread. Can't find any porridge around at this hour, so settled for Maggi mee soup at a mamak stall. Gosh, it was tasteless but I had to eat something. Then I went to a clinic. This time, the doctor took time to examine me (although the air-condition outside at the waiting area was also at full-blast). I asked: "will there be some relief by tonight?" The response: "Definitely", and the doctor was right. I felt much better after taking the new medication. My diarrhoea stopped, body temperature reduced, and abdominal pain subsided.

I had a horrible night. I see many patients with terminal illness through my volunteer work. I asked myself many times how can I emphatize with them, how can I understand their pain? My questions are answered. I don't have to suffer from cancer in order to emphatize with them. Suffering as a result of illness is universal, but different in terms of intensity. I was weak, had fever, diarrhoea, dizziness and abdominal pain for one night. I can emphatize with them if I extend my horrible night experience for weeks and months, plus more complications like vomiting, immobility, pain at every part of the body, etc. Not even mentioning the psychological torture that they go through.

Patients tell me: "Fung, it's not easy for you to understand what we're going through ..."
Yes, I know, but I'm willing to try.

Round and round ...

No, not Spandau Ballet! That's umpteen years, no, decades ago. This is a song by Gabriella Cilmi, a cool Aussie lad who's just 17. Yeeeeeessssss ..... 17!!!. Talents abound everywhere. My favorite album now.

Psycho-education

It's not like I've never done this before, afterall I've been doing this for the past 7 years. Teaching, coaching, buxxxhitting, con-sulting, so what's the big deal? Ahhhh, I see ..... what I've done in the past is more like "Telco-education". To be a psycho is a different game altogether, Stupid! As the Existentialists said: "Anxiety as a Condition for Living" ....
Yup, my new "career" for the next 3 months ..... and looking forward to it ....

Go, no go?

The economic crisis is lurking. More shit is expected to hit the fan in the second half of 2009. Should I sign on the dotted line? As Warren Buffett said:

"Be fearful when others are greedy, Be greedy when others are fearful"

For me, it's a matter of "Making a choice between Freedom of Desire and Freedom from Desire".

Kena berfikir-fikir .....