An early SMS

6:45am. "Mr. Fung, how do I ...... ". I didn't really know how to reply to the SMS. We talked over the phone for more than 2 hours the night before. The whole day, I've been trying to figure out ...

"How does one who requires meaning finds meaning in a meaningless universe?"


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Carthasis

At the bottom of the pit, and it feels like shit. Get me out of here!

What a journey ...

It's 5 minutes to midnight. I switched off the lights of the living hall and walked out to my balcony. Glanced at the clock again ... 23:58. There's already a sizable crowd on the ground level, all waiting for the fireworks to start. Then, 10 9 8 ...... 1, everyone shouted Happy New Year .... the sky lit up with fireworks across the KL skyline. Yes, it was quite spectacular. I had a funny feeling, something I had not expected. As I witnessed the various colors lighting up the dark night, I felt a sense of achievement. I realised that I have never given myself a pat on my own back all these years. Reflecting back the years of the Noughties, indeed I've come a long way. And I guess I'm proud of the fact that I've "lived" my life despite the many trials and tribulations. I'm glad that the past 10 years wasn't a walk in the clouds. Call it coincidence or perfect planning, the end of the Noughties marks the beginning of my next chapter. I'm excited about the Twenty-tens as I will be embarking on a different type of journey, one that requires lots of patience and wisdom. 我的感触, 我歌...故我在

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Why don't things go my way?

I'm hoping that 10 years would be enough for me to reach my goal. It took me 12 years to reach and then leave my previous peak. My next 10-year cycle will start in the next few months. I'm still grappling with the "how" but I'm pretty sure of the "what". I went to a few sites today to get some sense about what I'll be getting myself into, and I came back still blur, not having any answers. I complain why can't things be smooth for me, but then I've forgotten that some things in the past pretty much went according to plan.

I talked to two wonderful ladies on Monday. They taught me the meaning of determination and loving kindness. I've yet to speak to several more, but I'm already quite certain that the conversations will be filled with messages of hope, encouragement, and perseverance. Such beautiful people. The existentialists say that Meaning is a byproduct of engagement. How true ...
Reflecting on my previous career, I started with a not-so-respected position. When I've decided to call it a day, I was having a sort-of-respected role, plus I figured out my financial status so I can turn a page and begin with my second journey. Yet I still ask ..... Why don't things go my way?

A cruel joke ...

I used to ponder what's the meaning behind Robin Gibb's "I started a joke". Three days ago I received a phone call, a desperate call for help. At the other end is a woman diagnosed with breast cancer, and her husband is a breast cancer specialist. As a doctor, he has to detach himself in order to remain objective when treating his patients. So according to her, he rarely expresses his emotions. Over the phone, she was sobbing and said "I was devastated by what he told me last night ... that ........ " After the conversation ended, for some reasons, Robin Gibb's tune came humming in my head. How worse can it get when you feel helpless as a specialist for not being able to save the love of your life? It's a cruel joke on him.

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Grief

Today is my first time facilitating a group session focusing on grief. I went straight in and it turned out pretty well. Everyone broke the barrier of resistance and it was quite intense. The problem was not handling the group, but how to conceptualise the case and writing the damn case notes .....

Twenty years

This watch stopped twenty years ago.



You would have been very proud of me now.



人大了　方知天有幾高
停下了　方知找了彎路
時日太快　無知的小孩一晚長大　
咬緊拳頭不怕捱　青蔥歲月會跑得很快　

爸，in memory of you .... I grew up .... and I turned out pretty well too.



From your beloved son, 阿康


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