A cruel joke ...

I used to ponder what's the meaning behind Robin Gibb's "I started a joke". Three days ago I received a phone call, a desperate call for help. At the other end is a woman diagnosed with breast cancer, and her husband is a breast cancer specialist. As a doctor, he has to detach himself in order to remain objective when treating his patients. So according to her, he rarely expresses his emotions. Over the phone, she was sobbing and said "I was devastated by what he told me last night ... that ........ " After the conversation ended, for some reasons, Robin Gibb's tune came humming in my head. How worse can it get when you feel helpless as a specialist for not being able to save the love of your life? It's a cruel joke on him.

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Grief

Today is my first time facilitating a group session focusing on grief. I went straight in and it turned out pretty well. Everyone broke the barrier of resistance and it was quite intense. The problem was not handling the group, but how to conceptualise the case and writing the damn case notes .....

Twenty years

This watch stopped twenty years ago.



You would have been very proud of me now.



人大了　方知天有幾高
停下了　方知找了彎路
時日太快　無知的小孩一晚長大　
咬緊拳頭不怕捱　青蔥歲月會跑得很快　

爸，in memory of you .... I grew up .... and I turned out pretty well too.



From your beloved son, 阿康


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Sigh ...

I was asked to chauffeur a woman and her son to Genting Highlands. This is no ordinary trip for this is her last wish before she passes on. It does not cost a bomb to do this and yet, we have to wait because sponsorship is not approved. Now, we've got the sponsorship, but we cannot go anymore because her condition has turned bad. Sigh ...

Uncertainty

Why is there fear of uncertainty? Is it because there is desire for certainty? I have been chasing after this and that all these years ... and when I say I want to be at peace with myself and all around me like where I am now, I'm still chasing, isn't it? When I draw a house together with mountains and a river on an A4, the location of the house is up on the mountains overlooking the river, which to me represents peace and serenity. Well, I am a city person and I can't live in the mountains. The point is this: When I was drawing, I did not picture myself already in the house, overlooking the river but as something to look forward to. Although I am in peace now, there is still much more to do, to achieve, with family, work, everything else. There you go ... I'm chasing. After what? Isn't it true that uncertainty is the only certainty?

白い恋人達

A cover version by Ken Hirai. It's as good as the original by Kuwata Keisuke. In fact this version is more sombre. The first few lines remind me of my sadness ... the reason why I left my job and started travelling. First stop, Japan. Winter snow ... the serenade ... the smile of an angel ... and celebrate ...

如果。愛